


unfinished matters

by jaewinist



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Car Accidents, Character Death, Closure, Eventual Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Suicide Attempt, ghost! jaehyun, human! sicheng, jaewin, only tiny at the beginning tho, since jaehyun is dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:47:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27193990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaewinist/pseuds/jaewinist
Summary: Sicheng attempt to do suicide because of everything that happening in his life, but (un)luckily, his friends able to spot him and bring him to hospital, and after laying in coma for 1 week, Sicheng realize when he woke up that he got to see ghosts and he lost some of his memories. He didn’t really mind them all, until he got to know the ghost that lives in his apartment. Their adventures start there when Jaehyun, that young handsome ghost, asks Sicheng to help him solve his cause of death mystery.
Relationships: Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23
Collections: Winwin's Witching Hour





	unfinished matters

**Author's Note:**

> hello i decided i would like to participate in the third day of winwin's witching hour!! never really wrote something "mystery" related, so definitely a new challenge for me teehee, but i genuinely love writing this, i finished this in like 3 days or something lol. 
> 
> anyway, definitely un-beta-ed, but i hope you'll still enjoy this<3
> 
> happy reading!

This is it, this is his last day, he thought. Everything has gone so wrong, his life is a mess. Sicheng is ready to end his life, he locked his door, and also he locked the bathroom. He’s seated below his shower, turning on the water, and just stays there staring at the ceiling. What has gone so wrong? Why did he hate his life so much? The answer is everything. 

He texted his friends and said his last words to them. The least thing he could do is actually say bye to them, hence he texted them. What he didn’t expect is that his friends actually ditch their class and went to his apartment right after he sent those texts. He could hear his friends’ voices faintly, banging his door and asking him to open it. He feels sorry that he has to leave all his friends, but at the same time, he can’t live his life anymore. 

The small cutter on his hand is ready. He’s ready. He put the cutter near his wrist, this is the time. He could feel some droplets fall from his eyes. Is it the shower or his tears? He’ll never know. The cutter is already hurting his wrist, he could see blood running down the drains. He didn’t realize that he’s fully sobbing now, this is it.

Sicheng faintly hears voices, guess his friends successfully unlock his apartment door, but it’s probably too late. He probably already lost too much blood. His head starts to spin, and then he sees his friends successfully open his bathroom door too. He could see Ten crying, Kun panicking, and Doyoung calling someone, probably an ambulance. Ten holds him as he cries, and Sicheng just smiles, whispering sorry. And before he loses his consciousness, the last thing he sees is someone standing behind Ten. Maybe it’s the Reaper ready to take him. Then everything went black.

* * *

The first thing Sicheng sees when he opens his eyes are white ceilings. He looks around, and it finally dawns into him, he’s in a hospital. He sighs deeply, and takes a look at his wrist, there’s definitely a scar there, but not necessarily huge. He looks at his right, to see someone wearing a hospital robe standing in front of the door, it’s a kid. Not knowing who that is, Sicheng greets him.

“Hey kiddo. Why are you here?” 

The kid just smiles, and he proceeds to walk out, and Sicheng swears he really sees it with his own eyes, but the kid actually walks through the wall. Okay great, he probably could see ghosts now. That’s totally fine. Sicheng sighs again, he thinks again why did he end up here. He remembers seeing Ten, Kun and Doyoung that day, he remembers how Ten holds him while they both cry. He remembers all that, but he actually didn’t remember the reason why he attempts on suicide. He remembers he feels so stressed about something, but what is that something? He didn’t remember anything. He tries his best to remember it, but to no result. His head begins to pound, maybe this is why in the film Sicheng watched, the doctor always told the amnesia patient to not force remembering their memories. He’s holding his head, still feeling dizzy when he hears the door opened up. 

“Oh my God, he’s awake.” Sicheng could tell it’s Doyoung’s voice. He was then left alone again, as Doyoung probably called the nurse or the doctor.

After 5 minutes or so, Doyoung finally came back with nurses behind him. The nurses start to examine him, looking at his eyes, asking him to open his mouth, the other nurse starts to write down some notes. All of it happened so quickly, and the next time Sicheng blinks, he’s left alone with Doyoung. 

“Where’s all the nurses go?” Sicheng managed to ask.

“Oh sweetheart, they’re calling the doctor now.” Doyoung takes a step closer to him, and caresses his head.

Sicheng nodded, and soon the doctor came in. Of course with some nurses trailing behind him. 

“Hello Sicheng. How did you feel now?” The doctor starts to ask him. 

“I feel pretty fine I guess. Aside from a little bit sleepy, and also I still feel pretty high? If that makes any sense.” Sicheng explains briefly.

“That’s totally normal! You’re still on the drugs effect. I’m glad you’re fine. The scar isn’t that deep, and the blood loss isn't that severe either, I’m glad your friends bring you here immediately. Anyway, have you had any complaints so far?” The doctor asks him once again, still examining his heartbeat as they speak.

“My arms and legs feel weak. How long have I been unconscious? And also… I actually don’t remember the reason why I want to end my life. Is it normal?”

“Oh, yes. It’s pretty normal. Don’t force yourself to remember all those quickly, okay? Your memories will come back soon one by one, so no worries. And you’ve been in a coma for a week actually. Maybe that’s why your arms and legs feel weak too.” The doctor explains. After he finishes examining him, and making sure his condition is okay, he bids his goodbye. “You’re good for now. Rest some more, and soon you can go home. Take care.”

After the doctor went out, Doyoung once again walked toward him. Doyoung looks at him carefully, as if when he’s blinking Sicheng would be unconscious again. 

“Are you sure you’re okay Sicheng?” Doyoung sits next to his bed.

“Yes hyung, I’m okay. Are you okay?” Sicheng asks him back.

Hearing Sicheng’s answer, Doyoung starts to teared up, “I’m not okay, I feel so worried about you. You’re out for like a week Sicheng. I’ve been here most of the time, staring at you, wondering when will you open your eyes again, and slander me or something. Like anything but lying coldly there.”

“I’m sorry hyung. I didn’t mean to worry you.” Sicheng apologizes, and holds Doyoung’s hand tightly.

“No, no. I’m supposed to be apologizing. I’m so sorry that I can’t protect you, from whatever is bothering your mind, and from the thought that makes us almost lose you. I’m so sorry. I’ll make sure we’ll take care of you more, make you happy more.” Doyoung is now fully crying, burying his face on Sicheng’s bed.

Sicheng’s heart aches so bad. He’s trying to calm Doyoung’s down, stroking his back. And after Doyoung calmed down, he then hugs him, “You don’t have to be sorry. I love you.”

And in that moment, Kun and Ten start to show up. Upon seeing Sicheng is now awake and hugging Doyoung, both of them launch themselves to join the hug. Sicheng feels so warm at that time. And maybe, just maybe, he’s glad that they save him.

* * *

After 3 days, the doctor finally let Sicheng go back home. Kun, Ten and Doyoung make sure he’s back home safely, and also help him move back in. The state of his apartment is actually not bad, like literally, it’s still so clean. Kun said that he went there 3 days a week just to make sure everything was still clean and everything still works. His friends help him prepare for the dinner and stay until Sicheng eats dinner and takes a shower. 

“Anyway, are you sure you could do everything alone?” Ten asks. They are all ready to go back home and let Sicheng rest more, but they are still uneasy because Sicheng is still on drugs too.

“I’m 100% fine. I promise I’ll text or call you guys if something happens. You only live 3 blocks apart from me too.” Sicheng convinces them.

“Okay then, take care. Go get some rest immediately!” Kun says, patting Sicheng’s back.

“We’ll be here for breakfast. See you tomorrow.” Doyoung hugs him. 

And soon after, his friends went back home and left him alone. He looks around his apartment, and decides to sit on his sofa. He’s tired, but at the same time he feels like he’s already been resting for more than a week, so he’s settled on watching some movies.

He’s about to choose to watch an action movie, when he hears a voice from beside him, saying, “What an interesting choice.”

Sicheng whips his head, and sees someone probably his age, sitting next to him, and even holding a popcorn. Sicheng knows it’s probably a ghost since he’s been seeing ghosts ever since then, but why is he doing here? And he realizes he’s the one who actually stands behind Ten on that day too.

“What? Why are you staring at me?” The ghost says, looking a bit confused because Sicheng was staring at him. “Wait, you could see me?”

“Yeah.” Sicheng shrugs, making the ghost shocked. He’s shocked to the point he’s jumping on his seat and makes the popcorn fall everywhere.

“I swear to God, I know you’re shocked, but please don’t make any mess with your popcorn, we haven’t even watched the movie.” Sicheng whines, trying to tidy up the popcorn and put it back in the bowl the ghost holds.

“I’m sorry, but how did you see me? And even hear me?? I’ve been trying to talk to you for like 2-3 months, and having you finally responding to me makes me genuinely shocked.” That ghost says again, helping Sicheng pick up the scattered popcorn on the sofa. “Anyway, glad I could see you again dude.”

“Thanks. I guess I actually see you standing in my bathroom on that day. And when I woke up, I saw some other ghosts too, so yeah, since then. I’m so sorry I’ve been ignoring you before this.” Sicheng takes a look at the ghost once again. He’s pale (duh), and he’s pretty good looking, and probably around his age. And he also has dimples on his face, which is cute. Overall, he looks good.

“Right, I forgot to introduce myself! I’m Jaehyun. And I died when I’m 23 years old, and as I said before I died 3 months ago, I’ve been wondering around before I thought it would be nice to just live here.” Jaehyun offers his hand.

“No offense, but I can’t hold your hand, right?” Sicheng points at his hand. “Anyway I’m 23 too, so guess we're the same age.”

“I still forgot about that.” Jaehyun laughs, that actually sounds normal too. “Yes, you can’t hold me, but I guess someone said that you could feel like a cold air if you hold it, want to try?” 

“Sure!” Sicheng extends his hand, and shakes his hand. He sure can’t feel anything on his hand, but he feels a slight cold air around, which is pretty interesting.

“Oh, and no offense again. But why are you still here? I always read that the spirit who’s still wandering around usually still has unfinished matters here, is that right?” Sicheng asks politely, of course he doesn't want any ghosts to get mad at him.

Once again Jaehyun laughs, “That’s right. They’re trying to pick me up to heaven already, but I still have to know something here, so I declined their offers, and here I am now.” 

“Can I know what it is?” Sicheng once again asks politely, he didn’t want to offend Jaehyun as he’s being nothing but nice to him until now.

“Hmm, sure! But can you please help me with that?” 

“Of course, if I could help you, then why not?” Sicheng nods.

“This isn’t that much, I just want to know who killed me.” Jaehyun says.

“Jaehyun… It's a big deal if I’m being honest with you.” Sicheng sighs, it might be a simple wish for Jaehyun, but of course it would be hard to solve.

“I know! But please help me.” Jaehyun’s now pouting. “I swear I could help too. I could tell you where to ask around, and yeah, I’ll always be here by your side, so please?”

“You sure it’s safe?” Sicheng looks concerned. “I mean… If you’re getting killed, did you have anyone that wants you die? What if I got killed because I asked around too?” 

“Seriously? You asked that after you…” Jaehyun trails on his words, looking at Sicheng directly.

Of course Sicheng knows what Jaehyun is implying, “This is different you know. And also, who else will help you if I die? No one could hear or look at you.” 

“You’re right, you’re right.” Jaehyun agrees almost immediately. “I swear no one is after me, and we’re good. Besides, I’ll protect you no matter what! Even if my life is on stakes.”

“But you’re….” Sicheng points out at Jaehyun’s body.

“Oh my God, right. Yeah. Uhm, oh God this is awkward.” Jaehyun scratches his neck. “Well, you got what I mean, so deal?”

“Sure, I guess.”

“Great! We’ll start tomorrow!”

The rest of the night, 2 of them decide to ditch the movie and just talk to each other. Jaehyun is indeed the same age as Sicheng, and he tells Sicheng about his life, and for Sicheng it’s actually just like a normal life like him, he’s not related to any mafias or gangs, so no one is truly after Jaehyun. His cause of death could be just an accident, but even so, Jaehyun just wants to know, why and how that happened. Jaehyun said they probably could start with his parents house. Sicheng could pretend to be his friends, Jaehyun isn’t used to bringing his friends before, so that could make sense. He’ll be there beside Sicheng anyway, thankfully he isn’t locked in the apartment so he could roam around, so he could help if Sicheng has any difficulties.

After planning the plan for tomorrow, Sicheng is ready to sleep. He’s actually feeling tired, he was probably supposed to listen to his friends and rest some more, but well, he got to know Jaehyun and he actually didn’t feel lonely again. 

“So Jaehyun… You said you’ve been living here for 2 months?” Sicheng asks, while laying on his bed.

“Hmm.” He could sense Jaehyun still roaming around his room, going back and forth.

“Where do you usually sleep?” Sicheng shoots him the question, making Jaehyun stop on his track.

“Umm well…. Not to creep you out, but I sleep with you every night.” Jaehyun grimaces. “But I swear I didn’t do anything!”

Sicheng’s eyes widen comically, and he stares at Jaehyun, “So you’re the one who usually makes me feel cold even though I use my blanket already?” 

“Sorry? I know I said I didn’t do anything, but sometimes I might like to cuddle you because you’re warm…” Jaehyun just grins, preparing himself for the worse.

“Not gonna lie, but it’s super creepy. Like if I’m still not able to see you, are you probably still gonna do that?” Sicheng stares at the ceilings. He thought it was indeed so creepy, like having a ghost sleeping beside you every single night, and the said ghost sometimes cuddles you too. He never thought he would live his life like this. But he’s not really complaining anyway.

“Maybe. And now you know already, should I just sleep on your sofa? I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.” Jaehyun states. He’s looking at Sicheng and his bedroom door. “Oh God, I’m supposed to just sleep there from day 1, aren’t I? I feel so bad. I guess I forgot about my requests, let’s split up here, I’ll move out now. I’m so sorry for everything, hope you have a nice life.” 

Jaehyun was about to go out from his room, when Sicheng called him, “Jaehyun-ah.”

“Yes Sicheng?” Jaehyun slowly looks at his way.

Sicheng sighs, he’s not even sure about his decision, but well, he got nothing to lose anyway, “Just come here. Let’s sleep.”

Jaehyun slowly makes his way to Sicheng’s bed and lay beside Sicheng who stares at the ceiling. Sicheng stays still and silent for a while, making Jaehyun actually a bit concerned.

“Sicheng, you’re okay?” Jaehyun asks slowly.

“Hmm.” Sicheng nods. “Just confused how I ended up like that. I don’t remember what’s the main reason for me to do that, and the doctor told me not to push my memories back, since it’ll slowly come back anyway later. But I can’t help but wonder. What makes me feel so desperate like that?” 

“Hey, don’t sweat it now, okay? You’ll be fine, and as I said I’ll be here for you anyway. Just rest Sicheng. I know it’s been a pretty long day for you.” Jaehyun attempts to pat Sicheng’s head, leaving Sicheng feeling a bit cold air on his head. 

“Thanks Jaehyun. I’ll make sure to help you too.” Sicheng looks at Jaehyun and smiles. And in that moment, Sicheng finally realizes how beautiful Jaehyun’s eyes are, even though it’s not sparkling anymore, it somehow still radiates warmth, and also his face, how could he realize just now, Jaehyun is so damn beautiful. Bet Sicheng would have a crush on him if they knew each other earlier. 

It didn’t take too long until sleep finally took over Sicheng. He sleeps well that night.

The next morning Sicheng woke up with loud noise from his kitchen. He notices Jaehyun isn’t beside him too. Are Jaehyun the one who makes this noise? But how? With sleepy eyes, Sicheng finally woke up and went outside to check on his kitchen, just to reveal Kun making breakfast and also Doyoung and Ten chilling on the sofa. 

“Sicheng, morning!” Ten, the first one to notice him immediately greets him, drawing attention from both Doyoung and Kun.

“Good morning hyung.” Sicheng greets back. “Why are you all here, and how?” 

“We told you yesterday we’ll be back here for breakfast. And you gave us your door passwords, so here we are!” Doyoung pats the empty space beside him. “Come sit here while we wait for breakfast.”

“Are you going anywhere today?” Kun asks him from the kitchen, still focusing on making the dish.

“Actually yes.” Sicheng looks around to find Jaehyun, but he’s still nowhere to be found. Well, maybe because he noticed Sicheng’s friend coming, he’s going somewhere. 

“Oh where? We could drop you if you want!” Doyoung quickly offers.

To be honest Sicheng is still not sure where Jaehyun’s parents lived too. And Jaehyun isn’t here to tell him. And it probably best to keep his friends away from his plan with Jaehyun, just because Sicheng thought it’s only between both of them.

“I’m going to my friend’s home! And no need to drop me, I still have to confirm it with my friend.” Sicheng quickly denies the offer. 

“Are you sure? We could really drop you if you want.” Kun tries to offer him once again.

“And Sicheng, if you’re going there to just try searching up for your lost memories, I hope you stop. Not to be my protective self, but just trust the doctor and don’t push yourself too much, you know?” Ten sits closer to Sicheng and strokes his back.

“I promise it’s not about that hyung! I just want to hang out and talk to my friend. No other intentions.” Sicheng smiles at Ten, resting his head on his shoulder. 

“Okay guys! Breakfast ready.” Kun announces. “Let’s dig in here.”

They all moved to the dining table and started to eat their breakfast. Ten, Kun and Doyoung said they have to go somewhere too after this, so they’re going to go right after they finished their breakfast, but they promise Sicheng to come by either tonight or tomorrow, which Sicheng appreciates.

After cleaning all the dishes, they all get ready to go. Sicheng sent them off to the front door.

“If anything happened, don’t forget to text or call us, okay?” Doyoung making sure once again.

“Yes yes, no worries!” Sicheng nods quickly. “Take care guys.”

After making sure his friends were out of sight, Sicheng went back to his bedroom and saw Jaehyun sitting on his bed, just staring at the wall in front of him.

“Jaehyun.” Sicheng calls him.

“Oh, hi Sicheng! Your friends are going already?” Jaehyun looks at him and smiles.

“Hmm. Where are you this morning though?” Sicheng settles down to sit beside Jaehyun.

“I’m checking my parents’ house. You know, just to make sure they still live there and not going anywhere when we’re going there.” Jaehyun shrugs. “And after that, I went back here.” 

“I see. Are you okay though? You look pretty….” 

Sicheng drags on his word, when Jaehyun suddenly says, “Thank you. I’m okay though.”

“Huh?” Sicheng looks at Jaehyun confusedly. Why did he say thank you?

“You just said I’m pretty….” Jaehyun grins. 

“I haven’t finished my words dear lord… I want to say you look pretty tired.” Sicheng face palms.

“Oh, sorry.” Sicheng swears, he was probably hallucinating but he saw Jaehyun with his shy smiles and a bit of red tint on his cheek, which is actually impossible.

“But I guess you’re pretty though.” Sicheng mutters under his breath.

“What? Did you say something?” Jaehyun asks.

“No, no. Anyway, are you tired?” Sicheng once again asks.

“Not really. Just, after seeing my parents’s face, I missed them.” Jaehyun smiles sadly. “I want to hug them again, but I can’t. They’re getting older too, I’m supposed to be there to take care of them, but I can’t.” 

“I’m so sorry Jaehyun.”

“That’s fine! Anyway, let’s go now?” Jaehyun stands up already.

“Sure.”

Jaehyun’s house is actually pretty far from Sicheng’s apartment. Sicheng needs to travel 5 stations and transit to travel to 2 more stations. Jaehyun’s neighbourhood is actually filled up with rich people. Jaehyun’s home is also pretty big, with a huge garden in front of it (‘ _ My mum loves gardening. _ ” Jaehyun says), and also a big car port with 3 cars parked there.

“Jaehyun, am I even allowed to stand here without making your neighbour suspicious?” Sicheng now stands in front of Jaehyun's parents' house door. 

“Of course! Just ring the bell.” Jaehyun urges Sicheng to do so, so he did.

They both then wait until a pretty woman opens the door. She dressed casually but it didn’t hide the way she shines beautifully. 

“That’s my mum.” Jaehyun whispers as if his mum could hear that too.

“Hello ma’am.” Sicheng smiles and bows down.

“Hello young man, what can I help you with?” Jaehyun’s mum smiles at him.

“I’m actually Jaehyun’s friend ma’am.” Sicheng smiles, and Jaehyun’s mum immediately let him in, told him to sit down in the living room while making some drinks.

“Please drink this.” Jaehyun’s mum puts down the glass in front of him.

“Thank you ma’am.” Sicheng nods politely and drinks a sip. It was pretty refreshing considering how far he travelled.

“Are you really Jaehyun’s friend? Jaehyun never really brings his friends home, I thought he’s uncomfortable making his friends meet me.” Jaehyun’s mum sighs.

“That’s partly true though.” Jaehyun whispers.

Sicheng just grins, “That’s probably the case ma’am. But rest assured, Jaehyun is well loved by his friends. He’s a good friend.”

“Ah really?” Jaehyun’s mum smiles. “Anyway, I saw some of his friends during his funeral, but I guess I didn’t see you, so I didn’t recognize you. I’m sorry, but what’s your name?”

“Oh I forgot to introduce myself, I’m sorry. I’m Sicheng, Dong Sicheng. I’m so sorry I actually still stayed with my parents in China when that happened, I only got texts from my friends telling me about Jaehyun. And I just got back here, so I thought I should at least visit you now.” Sicheng came up with his own scenario in his mind.

“Ah I see. So, you haven’t been to his grave too?” 

“Yes ma’am. If you’re willing to tell me where it is, I would probably head there before I go home later.” Sicheng takes a sip on his tea again. “And ma’am, I actually don’t want to be rude, but because I’m abroad when that happened, can you tell me what happened to Jaehyun? I can’t believe I lost him and I don’t know what happened to him.” 

“Oh sweetheart, that’s totally fine. Of course I could tell you. Should we come to his room instead?” Jaehyun’s mum pointing at a door. 

Sicheng followed her and slowly came into Jaehyun’s room. The room stays clean, and also there’s still a lot of Jaehyun’s belongings there. And weirdly enough, it feels pretty familiar for Sicheng. Jaehyun’s mother is already seated on his bed and she invites Sicheng to sit beside her.

“This is Jaehyun’s beloved plushies.” His mother is holding on a pretty big teddy bear. “He might seem like he’s ready to fight everyone on the outside, but he’s still a baby inside.”

Sicheng could hear Jaehyun’s groaning, but he just laughed, “I could totally see him with these plushies.”

“Yeah. He’s my baby indeed.” Jaehyun’s mum smiles weakly, and of course Sicheng notices that. “That’s why I still feel sorry for everything I’ve done to him on that day.” 

“What happened?” Sicheng asks the question to both Jaehyun’s mum and Jaehyun.

Jaehyun shakes his head, and just let his mother elaborate more, “That day, we had an argument. I guess it’s just a silly one. Jaehyun thought he’s not being helpful enough for me and his father, so he asked us to let him at least get a part-time job. We didn’t agree on that, his father said he could still make money for our family, why would Jaehyun want to make his life harder? And I also said some mean words to him, and I still regret saying that until now. I said why would he take a part-time job when he could just live his life leisurely? And he’s supposed to be thankful enough to be born in a wealthy family. He took offense on that and got mad, asking if we’re embarrassed if he ended up behind a convenient store cashier. I swear it’s not like that. We just want him to live his happy life you know. His father and I, we actually build our own company and start from zero, we know how it feels like to be poor, so we don’t want our son to feel like that too. After those arguments, he said he would stay in his friend’s place, and just leave while slamming on the door. And that night, the police called us to inform us about his death. The nearby witness said he’s jumping to a high speed car and yeah. The police announce his death as a suicide.” 

Jaehyun’s mother sighs, her voice starts to shake, “So yeah, I feel so sorry about that.”

Sicheng notices Jaehyun’s fully sobbing beside him. He wants to try to calm him down but his mother probably would see him weirdly, so he opted to rest his hand on Jaehyun’s lap, basically putting his hand on his left. 

“I don’t know my parents thinking that way, I do run away after our arguments, but I swear I didn’t commit suicide. And I swear I know I could just live my life leisurely, but I just want to help my parents you know. As I said this morning, they’re only getting older, I know they’ve worked so hard until now, hence that’s why I want to help them a bit. I just want to be a good son for them.” Jaehyun explains while he cries.

“Ma’am, I guess if you know your son well, you should’ve known that this could probably be an accident too right? Even if the police consider him committing suicide, I guess Jaehyun isn’t that kind of person. He’s strong right? He also wants to try to be independent so he doesn't make both you and your husband suffer. I know him, and I know that he’s not gonna take his life away just because of those arguments. And I know that he loves you both so much, he just wants to be a good son for both of you, and also he just wants to take care of you. He told me how much his parents worked so hard for him, and how he wants to return your kindness back. I thought he would want you both to know that he loves you both, and he’s sorry for his words at that time too.” Sicheng explains slowly, pouring both his thought and Jaehyun’s thought into his words. His mother left speechless with that. 

“Why do I feel like I just talked to Jaehyun?” His mother laughs a bit. “But I got your points. We both already forgive him and understand his points, and it's such a shame we both can’t say our apologies to him before he left this world. We want him to know that we also love him so much and we both just want the best for him. I guess that’s what every parent wants.”

“Maybe when I visited his grave, I could tell all of this to him? Maybe that way he could know your thoughts and unspoken words to him.” Sicheng offers an idea. 

“Brilliant.” Jaehyun’s mother immediately picks up a piece of paper and writes something there. “Here’s Jaehyun’s grave, and I would like to believe that you could talk to him there and send him my thoughts, that’s the only way I could feel peace at mind I guess. I never thought about this before.” 

“I’ll make sure I’ll talk to him about what you’ve said to me today.” Sicheng smiles. “Anyway, I guess I should get going now before the sun sets.”

“Oh, and Sicheng.” Jaehyun’s mum calls him.

“Yes ma’am?” 

“Can I give you a hug so you could send it to Jaehyun too?” Jaehyun’s mum asks.

Sicheng gives Jaehyun a glance, and Jaehyun just nods, so Sicheng nods too, “Sure ma’am. I’m sure he misses his mother’s warm hug too.”

So Jaehyun’s mum hugs him, while Jaehyun went through Sicheng’s body so he could feel the hug too. 

“Thank you Sicheng.” Jaehyun’s mum smiles, feeling happy enough. She then tidies up Sicheng’s clothes. “Why are you so cold though? You should make sure you dress warmly, it’s already fall now.”

“I will ma’am. Thank you. You should take care too. Thank you for welcoming me warmly too, and thank you for speaking to me even though I’m sure it’s still hard for you. I’ll bid my goodbye here as I have to visit Jaehyun after this.” Sicheng bids his goodbye.

Jaehyun’s mum sends him off to the front door, and calls Sicheng again, “Sicheng.”

“Yes ma’am?” 

“Will you please bring this teddy bear to Jaehyun too? You don’t have to return it to me, you could just keep it or leave this on his grave.” Jaehyun’s mum hands him the teddy bear. Sicheng could see Jaehyun looks shocked but he eventually smiles.

“Just take it.” Jaehyun tells him.

“Thank you ma’am. I’ll make sure I’ll let Jaehyun know about our conversations today.” Sicheng takes the teddy bear. “Take care ma’am.”

“You too.”

Along the way to the station, Sicheng talks to Jaehyun. “Are you feeling much better now?” 

“Yeah, thanks to you. I got closure with my mum and also I got to meet this baby again.” Jaehyun points at the teddy bear on Sicheng’s hands.

“Do you want to touch it?” Sicheng holds out the teddy so Jaehyun could touch it.

“I guess later, this would look weird if someone saw this teddy bear floating around next to you.” Jaehyun laughs. “Anyway, are we going home?”

“No? I told you already I want to visit your grave.” Sicheng whines.

“Ah… I actually haven't gone there again.” Jaehyun confesses.

“Oh I’m sorry, I just assume you went there a lot. Are you uncomfortable with me going there?”

“No no, that’s fine. Let’s go there together.” Jaehyun smiles and tries to hold Sicheng’s hand, which of course only results in Sicheng’s hand feeling something cold.

“You silly.” SIcheng giggles, and just lets Jaehyun try to hold his hand. It was only 2 stations away from Jaehyun's grave. His family is definitely taking care of his grave as it’s so neat and beautifully decorated. Sicheng sits down and looks at Jaehyun’s tomb. There’s his birthdate and his death date. It was indeed 3 months ago.

“Wait, your birthday is on Valentine’s Day?” Sicheng asks Jaehyun. 

“Yes. Is it weird?” Jaehyun asks him back, grinning.

“It suits you so well somehow.” Sicheng giggles.

“In a good way or bad way?” Jaehyun giggles along with him.

“Good way.” Sicheng grins. “You resemble cupid and God of love somehow. Cute.” 

“Thank you.” Jaehyun smiles. 

They both just stay silent and stare at Jaehyun’s grave. They both feel mellow somehow. Sicheng caressing Jaehyun’s tomb. 

“Wait… Why do I feel someone caressing my head just now?” Jaehyun held his head.

“Oh really?” Sicheng caresses the tomb more and Jaehyun feels content with that. 

“This is great. Does this mean if you hug my tomb I could feel hugs too?” Jaehyun jokes around, but Sicheng does so.

And Jaehyun smiles widely, “I could actually feel it, and I miss getting a hug from someone.”

“I’m willing to go here every week just to give you a hug to be honest.” Sicheng admits, earning a grin from Jaehyun.

“I’m touched.” 

And they both laugh because of those remarks.

They ended up getting home because the sun is about to set. When he’s home, Sicheng spots a food on his dining table, with some notes from Ten,  _ “I’m so sorry but I have things to do until late, so enjoy this food instead! Don’t forget to take your meds. I love you.” _

Sicheng ended up enjoying his dinner with Jaehyun sitting in front of him. They plan again for tomorrow. This time, they’re going to meet Jaehyun’s friends. Since Jaehyun was on his way to his place when that happened anyway. He told Sicheng their favourite cafe to hang out in, so they’re gonna planning to go there tomorrow. Jaehyun checked it out every week already and he’s sure his friends still love to hang out there. 

After preparing to sleep, they both lay down next to each other again. Sicheng gives Jaehyun his teddy bear, and he hugs him almost immediately, which draws a chuckle from Sicheng.

“This teddy bear has been with me through my up and down, I’m glad I could meet him again.” Jaehyun explains, making Sicheng have an urge to just stroke his hair, and he does that. As expected he could only feel the cold air, but at least he’s trying. 

“I’m glad you got to meet him again too.” Sicheng smiles.

Not long after that, Sicheng could see Jaehyun’s eyes closing. 

“Good night Jaehyun.”

Soon, he joins Jaehyun on the dream land.

In the morning he got woken up by his phone who can’t stop ringing. He got calls from Doyoung.

_ “Hello?” _

“Yes hyung?”

_ “Sicheng!” _

“Hmm?”

_ “Why didn’t you pick up your phone quicker?” _

“I just woke up.”

_ “Ah I see. Anyway, we can’t go to your place today, are you going anywhere today?” _

“Yeah, I just want to drink some coffee, so I’m going out today. Why?”

_ “Take care, okay? Anyway, Kun prepares something in your fridge already, you could just heat it up!” _

“Okay I got it, thank you hyung.”

_ “Take care Sicheng.” _

“You too!”

Same as yesterday morning, Jaehyun isn't beside him anymore. Sicheng searched for him in the living room, and found him there, this time with the TV on.

“Morning!” Jaehyun greets him cheerfully.

Sicheng chuckles, “Morning. Why do you look so happy?”

“Got to cuddle with my teddy bear!” Jaehyun grins. “To be honest, it’s not hard to make me happy.”

“Cute.” Sicheng mumbles. “Anyway let me eat my breakfast first before going to the cafe. Is that okay?”

“Take your time! They usually hang out there from around 11am though.” Jaehyun lets him know.

So after breakfast, he hung around Jaehyun while watching TV, talking about random stuff. And honestly that feels good. Sicheng never really had a roommate before, so having Jaehyun around definitely feels different, and so far so good. He got someone to talk with basically 24/7. 

After finishing the movie that they watched, they finally go to the cafe. It was pretty comfortable. And Jaehyun immediately points out where his friends are seated. They’re sitting down near the huge windows, with comfortable sofas on their table too. Sicheng braces himself and walks toward them.

“Oh my God, cute guy coming at us!” He could hear one of Jaehyun’s friends say so.

“Dear lord, that’s Yuta hyung for you.” Sicheng could hear Jaehyun complaining.

And when he arrived at the table, he could see there’s 3 people there. And side notes, they are all actually so good looking, Jaehyun definitely fits in this group.

“Hello cutie, how can I help you?” The red hair one winks.

“Yuta, don’t fucking scare him!” The black hair one says, hitting the former on shoulder.

“Anyway, ignoring the mess behind me, can I help you with something?” The pink one asks, he’s actually so pretty and he pretty much talks in pout. 

“Hi! I’m Sicheng.” Sicheng introduces himself.

And before he’s able to continue, 3 of them talk at the same time, “Hi Sicheng!”

“I’m Yuta.” The red one says, and he winks again.

“I’m Johnny! Nice to meet you dude.” The black hair one holds out his hand and shakes Sicheng’s hand.

“And I’m Taeyong!” The pink one finally introduces himself. “Once again can we help you?"

“Oh right. Are you guys Jaehyun’s friends?” Sicheng could definitely see them all kind of tensed up when he mentions Jaehyun’s name.

“Oh yeah yeah. Is there anything wrong?” Johnny is the first one to speak again.

“So, I’m actually his online friend. We’ve been talking to each other for like 5 months before he ghosted on me. I remember he told me he’s always hanging out here with his friends. And he sometimes even inserts the picture of him and you guys! So I’m just wondering, is there anything that happened to him?” Sicheng plays out his role again.

“Ohh.” 3 of them nods along.

“It’ll be a pretty long story, would you like to sit down with us?” Yuta offers, pointing at the empty spot besides Taeyong.

“Yeah sure.” Sicheng sits down next to Taeyong.

“Uhmm, how do we start?” Taeyong mumbling.

“It’s more like how to say this nicely.” Johnny sighs.

“Is there something wrong with him?” Sicheng acts again.

“Hmm. I’m sorry to say this, but he’s no longer with us anymore.” Yuta finally says it.

“Oh? He’s moving somewhere?” Sicheng acts like he didn’t know anything. And he could see Taeyong grimaces next to him. 

“No. It’s like, he’s no longer with us in this world anymore.” Johnny drops the bomb.

“Ahh I see.” Sicheng nods and holds his gaze to the table. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”

“It’s fine. I like to believe that he’s peaceful already now.” Yuta sighs.

“Can I know what happened with him?” Sicheng asks carefully.

“I don’t really know the details, but he’s arguing with his parents, and he texted me that he would come to my place. So I waited for him, but he never came.” Johnny explains.

“We only know that he got hit by a high-speed car, but we once again don’t know the details.” Yuta elaborates more.

“Police said it was a suicide, since the witness said he jumps when there’s a high-speed car. But to be honest, Jaehyun isn’t that kind of person.” Taeyong shakes his head. 

“Oh my God, so you didn’t know the details?” Sicheng sighs. “I know that he’s not that kind of person too. I just wish I knew more about how he left this world.” 

“We want to know too. Even if Yuta said we’d want to believe he’s at peace now already, I still thought that I guess he still wants us to know what really happened on that night. He’s definitely not committing suicide, I know that for sure, but I don’t know what really happened. I wish I’m there at that time.” Johnny frowns.

“This is probably weird, but I’ve been talking about this with my other friends, they recommend me to just come see a ‘shaman’ or some sort, and ask them about Jaehyun’s cause of death, you know since they probably could see the past. But yeah, I still haven’t got time.” Yuta gives him an idea. 

“Ahh I see, maybe I could try to do that later.” Sicheng nods, truly considering finding a good shaman near his place. “Anyway, thank you for talking to me today. I know it’s pretty hard to tell me about Jaehyun.”

“That’s fine, I’m glad that Jaehyun has a great friend like you too. You could visit his grave if you want!” Taeyong writes an address on tissue paper and gives it to Sicheng. “Here’s the address.”

“Thank you, I really appreciate it.” Sicheng takes the tissue paper, and gets ready to leave. “I guess I should get going now.”

“Glad we could help a bit. Take care, Sicheng.” Johnny waves at him, followed by the rest.

“You guys too.”

On their way to Sicheng’s apartment, Sicheng takes a look at Jaehyun who’s walking beside him. His expression is pretty hard to decipher. 

“Are you okay Jaehyun?” Sicheng asks.

“Why did you always ask me that?” Jaehyun giggles. “I’m fine Sicheng, seriously.”

“But your expression is hard to tell? I just want to make sure.” Sicheng pouts.

Jaehyun laughs, “I swear I’m fine.”

“Are you against Yuta hyung’s idea for going to the shaman?” Sicheng asks just to make sure.

“No no, I’m fine doing that. It’s just… It’s weird to see you hanging out with my friends. And the way they just accept you without questioning too much. It feels like they're accepting you as my friend too. I’m happy.” Jaehyun elaborates, makes Sicheng smile to himself.

“Is that important for your friends to accept me?” 

“Yes, because they’re important for me, and so do you.” Jaehyun smiles, teasing Sicheng with him trying to poke Sicheng’s cheek.

“Oh shut up Jaehyun, we’ve known each other for like 3 days or something.” Sicheng whines, he could feel like he’s blushing just by Jaehyun saying he’s important for him.

“Excuse you. You know me for 3 days, but I’ve been looking at you since 2 months ago.” Jaehyun shrugs, laughing, and walking faster away from Sicheng.

Sicheng just shakes his head, and walks faster to his apartment. But of course once he opened the door, Jaehyun was already seated there on his sofa. 

“Oh, you’re home?” Jaehyun greets him with a big smile on his face.

Sicheng can’t lie, he feels like his heart stops beating for a second. Why does it feel so nice to hear Jaehyun welcoming him home? And why does this feel so domestic? Why does Jaehyun look so damn nice just sitting there with sun sets behind him? 

And at that moment, Sicheng finally realizes he might slowly catch feelings on Jaehyun. Yes, he has his friends, but sometimes he feels so lonely, he feels like he’s battling with everything inside him, and with Jaehyun around, he feels much better. Jaehyun’s smile and laugh also seems so beautiful in Sicheng’s eyes. Everything about Jaehyun is beautiful.

Sicheng must stay there for too long because Jaehyun already came to him, and checked him out, “Hey Sicheng, are you okay?”

“Yes yes.” Sicheng simply smiles. “Guess just a bit tired.”

Jaehyun frowns, “I’m so sorry, instead of helping me you should’ve just rest.”

“I agree to help you Jaehyun, no need to blame yourself.” Sicheng pats Jaehyun’s head. “Let’s just watch something.”

They sit on the sofa and finally settle on watching horror movies. Jaehyun insisted on watching that movie even though Sicheng already said he didn’t like to watch horror.

“Oh come on, it’ll be fun.” Jaehyun tries to convince Sicheng. “Why did you hate horror so much?”

“I’m scared of ghosts Jaehyun.” Sicheng buries his face on the pillow.

“But I’m a ghost….” 

Sicheng definitely hears Jaehyun being pretty upset, and he immediately apologizes, “Oh my God Jaehyun, that’s not what I mean. Of course I’m not scared of you, it’s different! I like you.”

“Oh, you like me?” Jaehyun’s eyes definitely lit up hearing that.

“Ah, I mean… in a friendly way. Yeah, yeah, that’s it.” Sicheng seems like he’s trying to convince himself rather than convincing Jaehyun.

“To be honest, it’s fine though.” Jaehyun says, resting his head on Sicheng’s shoulder. “I like you too.”

Sicheng tried to take a peek at Jaehyun, but he pushed Sicheng’s head away, “Just let’s focus watching now.”

They watch it in silence, with Sicheng screaming and squealing when the ghost shows up out of nowhere, and Jaehyun just tries to calm him down with his hand seemingly holding Sicheng’s hand. Sicheng wishes he could feel Jaehyun’s hand instead of just cold air surrounding it, but it’s better than nothing. When the movie finished, Sicheng’s heart was beating so fast, and Jaehyun was still resting his head on Sicheng’s shoulder, and he’s sleeping.

Sicheng took a look closely at Jaehyun’s face, “Indeed, you’re beautiful.”

Not wanting Jaehyun to wake up, Sicheng just leaned back and let him sleep there. Using this opportunity, Sicheng starts to rant, “You know what? I find it so silly that I ended up catching feelings for you. You make me feel so comfortable, and happy somehow. It’s only been a couple days since we talked, but I feel like I’ve known you for so long already. I know this might sound ridiculous, but I wish you could just stay with me here, and never leave me alone. I just want to have you around by my side. This is so unfair. Why didn’t I meet you sooner? Will it be any different for us if we met sooner? But anyways, I actually just want you to feel at peace and be happy, so I’ll help you as much as I can, and send you off later when you’re ready.”

“Thank you.” 

Jaehyun smiles at Sicheng, while Sicheng blushing like crazy, Jaehyun hears his rant, “What the fuck this is so unfair? You fake your sleep and eavesdrop what I got to say?” 

“I really fell asleep, but when you said I’m beautiful I got woken up, but you continue to rant, so I suppose I just let you say everything. And yeah, I got your point Sicheng.” Jaehyun once again leaned back to the sofa. “I wonder what if we met sooner too, and I also wonder how it feels like to actually hold your hand or hug you. This sucks, but it is what it is. Promise I’ll always be here for you, at least until the day I’m ready come. You helped me a lot Sicheng, you gave me closure with my mum, and also you helped me fix the misunderstandment about my cause of death. I already feel much more at peace now, and it’s because of you, hence I’m so thankful.”

“Shut up before I cry.” Sicheng tries to stop Jaehyun.

“Don’t cry, I can’t hug you.” Jaehyun pouts, looking straight at Sicheng’s eyes.

“You’re so damn annoying.” Sicheng pushes Jaehyun away in an attempt to break their eye-contact. 

“But you love me.” 

“I love you.” 

“And I love you too Sicheng.” Jaehyun once again tries to hold Sicheng’s hand. “You know what? You could cuddle with a teddy bear tonight! He still smells like me, and I usually don’t like to share, but it’s you, so yeah! That’s the least thing I could do for now.”

“Okay.”

Jaehyun stays true to his words, and he promptly gives the teddy bear for Sicheng to cuddle. Jaehyun also didn’t lie when he said it still smells like him, it somehow feels so comforting. 

“Now I’m jealous of those plushies.” Jaehyun sighs.

“I’d rather hug you instead of this too though.” Sicheng now faces Jaehyun. “Have I told you you’re beautiful today?”

“Don’t tease me.” Jaehyun hides his face. “But yes, you already did today.”

“I’m not teasing you! I genuinely mean it, you’re beautiful inside out, and I’m glad I could help you somehow. Thank you for finding me here.” Sicheng grins.

“You should see in the mirror that you’re so beautiful too. And I am also glad that you could help me and finding you is probably the best thing I’ve done. And of course, I genuinely feel so grateful that you made it safely back here after that day.” Jaehyun caresses Sicheng’s face, and of course it only feels like a cold air on Sicheng’s face.

“Let’s sleep now. We should finish our mission tomorrow too.” Sicheng declares.

“Right, good night my love.” 

“Good night too Jaehyun.”

The next morning Sicheng thought he would wake up to an empty bed again, but he actually still had Jaehyun there, staring at him.

“Good morning beautiful.” Jaehyun greets.

“Good morning too baby.” Sicheng stifles a yawn. “What an honour to wake up with you still right beside me.”

Jaehyun laughs, which indeed sounds so beautiful for Sicheng, “I just want to watch you sleeping, you look so peaceful, and beautiful.”

“I’ll take the compliments, thanks.” Sicheng giggles. “Anyway, are you ready for today?”

“Yeah!” Jaehyun nods. “But at the same time I also feel scared? I’m possibly about to know what makes me die, and if that already satisfies my curiosity, I might be able to go to heaven soon. I don’t want to leave you.”

Sicheng just sighs, “You know what? I believe in fate. If we’re meant to be, then let fate do all the work for us. We can do it together.”

Jaehyun just keeps staring at Sicheng, Sicheng tries to maintain eye contact but eventually feels too shy because of Jaehyun’s piercing gaze, even though it’s intense, it still radiates warmth and softness too.

“Why are you staring at me?” Sicheng asks, covering Jaehyun’s eyes.

“You’re beautiful. And I love your eyes.” Jaehyun easily admits it.

“Stop teasing me.” Sicheng scrunches his nose. “Let’s just get ready for today.”

“Did you know where we were going today though?” Jaehyun raises his brows.

“Searched on the internet yesterday, and I actually found one that apparently was good. It’s kinda far from here though, it’s closer to your grave.” Sicheng shows Jaehyun his phone, which shows the address of this famous shaman in their city.

“Ah I see I see, let’s go!” 

Of course they travel in silence as usual. There’s no way Sicheng speaks to Jaehyun just because people would definitely find him weird. Jaehyun would usually stand in front of Sicheng rather than sitting next to him.  _ “People would need to sit down, and I don’t want anyone to sit on me just because they can’t see me.” _ Jaehyun said when Sicheng asked him the reason.

After a 30-40 minutes silence, they finally arrived at the station near that shaman’s place. 

“It said that it would only take us a 7 minutes walk to get there from here.” Sicheng checks again the address from his phone.

“Do we have to make an appointment first though? If they are really famous they might have tons of customers.” Jaehyun needs to make sure everything went well today.

“I guess not really. You know in these modern days, who really believes in shaman?” Sicheng just shrugs, leading the way.

Jaehyun just nods, agreeing with what Sicheng said. During his life too, he never really believed in shaman, let away shaman, Jaehyun didn’t even believe in zodiacs. Hell, he didn’t even believe in ghosts before. He always thought it’s kinda ironic that he used to think like that.

It’s barely a 7 minutes walk when they suddenly already arrived. Unlike what Sicheng and Jaehyun thought before, the place is actually pretty bright and didn’t look suspicious at all. They have the store name at the front, and it looks legit like a usual formal store.

“Wow, this isn’t like what I thought it would be.” Jaehyun says.

“Me too.” Sicheng laughs. “Let’s just get in?”

“Sure.”

Sicheng opened the door and let Jaehyun come in first. There’s a lobby with a cashier and waiting room on it. Lucky for them (could this be considered lucky though?), the waiting room is empty. The ladies behind the cashier chew on a gum and give them a look.

“We still have 1 customer inside, just sit down for now.” The cashier says, pointing at the sofa in front of her.

“Oh, thank you.” Sicheng nods, and asks Jaehyun to sit beside him.

“You know what? Now that we’re here, I’m kinda nervous.” Sicheng admits to Jaehyun.

“Hey, no worries. I’m here.” Jaehyun tries to convince Sicheng, but Sicheng could definitely see his eyes showcasing that he’s indeed worried too. “Okay, okay. I’m nervous too. But we can go through this together.”

The other customer finally finished with their session, and Sicheng noticed that it was a ghost too. So he guesses, it’s probably a good choice that they finally go here.

The cashier motions them to just go inside. So Sicheng walks first with Jaehyun trailing behind him. It’s still bright there, they didn’t use any dark paint for the walls either, but there's cold air surrounding them. The door was literally at the end of the corridor. Sicheng slowly opens it, to reveal a shaman sitting behind the table.

He looks pretty young if Sicheng has to guess. He has a vase of sunflower on his desk, which is pretty unique for a shaman. He smirks upon seeing Sicheng and Jaehyun, but nevertheless lets them sit in front of him. Both Sicheng and Jaehyun just keep their silence, until the shaman finally talks.

“How can I help you both?” The shaman asks. “Anyway, if this has something to do about love between 2 dimensions, I can’t help. It’ll be pretty complicated and hard, too many risks, I don’t want to take it."

Because of the shaman’s words, Sicheng and Jaehyun just stare at each other, getting a bit confused. Can he read their minds or is it like too obvious between them?

“Okay. Guess you both still don’t want to talk because you still feel too awkward with me.” The shaman says, he’s reaching for something under his table. And there, he laid out his business card. “I’m Haechan. You could say I’m a pretty famous shaman here. So yeah, please don’t be too formal, I’m still young. Let’s just get on to the business, shall we?”

“Hmm, so yeah. It’s actually me.” Jaehyun starts.

Haechan nods along, “As expected. What stops you from going from this world, young man?”

“It’s Jaehyun by the way. And, I haven’t left because my parents, my friends thought I’m committing suicide, which I didn’t. But me myself forgot about the day I died too. I want to know the cause of that, and how that happened. I just want to know that, I guess.” Jaehyun explains, once a while making eye contact with Haechan.

“Interesting.” Haechan grins. “The fate of both of you actually cross again.”

“Both of us?” Sicheng asks, confused about what Haechan is implying.

“Yes.” Haechan takes a look at both of them. “You didn’t remember anything?”

“No. I actually… almost killed myself too, because of that I got to see Jaehyun, but because of that too, I actually forgot the reason why I want to do that.” Sicheng briefly explains. “Are you implying it might have something to do with Jaehyun?”

Jaehyun genuinely looks shocked, “Did something happen between me and Sicheng before?”

Haechan only hums, looking both of them carefully, “This will be hard for both of you I guess. But I have to say it, since this will answer the questions you both have.”

Both Sicheng and Jaehyun only nod, waiting for Haechan to continue.

“Do you want to see the visualization or just a story from me?” 

“Just the story please.” Both of them say, agreeing probably seeing the visualization would be too much.

“Hmm. So on that day, Jaehyun indeed didn’t committed suicide. It was just an accident. You’re in a hurry to go to your friend’s place, you’re about to cross the road, when this drunk ass driver hits you, which causes you to bounce off pretty far. You broke your bones there, and also lost quite a lot of blood because of the collision. Sadly since it’s already late, nobody witnessed that, except for one person who actually was about to cross the road too. It’s you.” Haechan stops and stares at Sicheng. “He’s literally 1 step behind you, and of course watching you shocked him so bad. He was literally shaking, he got a panic attack. He wants to cradle you and tell you everything will be fine, but of course he can’t, he would only ruin the crime scene. The driver immediately ran away, and surprise, he’s the son of this city mayor, of course he got that law immunity. Even when he’s panicking, Sicheng tries his best to call 911. But they took too long, and he saw you losing your life slowly. After 911 came, Sicheng hides though, he’s still not ready to be interviewed. So that fucked up driver got his fake witness and said that you’re jumping to his car. So yeah. That’s all I could see from that night.”

Haechan stops for a while, and Jaehyun suddenly stands from his seat, excusing himself, “I’m so sorry, I need to go out from here.”

“Jaehyun, please.” Sicheng tries to stop him. 

Jaehyun didn’t look at him at all, and made his move outside.

Haechan then continues again, “Just let him, it’s too much for him maybe. And anyway, that’s what makes you feel so stressed. Your life is getting harder and harder, and the fact that you can’t really help Jaehyun at that night and slowly see him losing his life, shocked by seeing that right in front of you, you can’t help but think that could be you instead of him. You truly remember how Jaehyun struggled to keep breathing. So that’s what pushed you to do that.”

“I just want to say that you’ve tried your best. You don’t have to blame yourself.” Haechan finishes, patting Sicheng’s hand. “Is that all?”

“Yeah, I supposed.” Sicheng weakly nods. 

“Hey, I really mean it, don’t blame yourself. And just give him time, okay?” Haechan tries to cheer Sicheng up.

“Hmm, thank you Haechan.” Sicheng excuses himself out.

He paid in the cashier, and just walked alone back to his apartment. The road feels so lonely, and he feels so bad. So, that’s why he’s so stressed and wants to give up back then. But thinking about it more now, he feels even more bad. Jaehyun is so precious to Sicheng. He could’ve probably helped more and save Jaehyun’s life, and maybe their story would be different now. And now, Jaehyun’s location is unknown and Sicheng doesn't know where to find him.

As expected, he didn’t find Jaehyun in his apartment. He probably should listen to Haechan and give Jaehyun some time first. Sicheng makes his way to his bedroom, and sees Jaehyun’s teddy bear still sitting down there. Out of impulse, Sicheng hugs it, inhaling as much of Jaehyun's scent as he can. His head feels so dizzy. It’s too much for him, he can’t hold his tears, so he cried. 

“Jaehyun-ah, I’m so sorry, I should’ve done more to you.” Sicheng sobs to the teddy bear. “This is all my fault.”

Sicheng really pours his heart out, and just sleeps after all that, hoping he would see Jaehyun laying down beside him again the next day.

And of course it’s just Sicheng’s wish. He still can’t find Jaehyun the next day. He feels so devastated. But thinking about it, Jaehyun might be in his grave, so Sicheng decides he would go there today.

With quickly eating breakfast (yes he still has to eat his breakfast to drink his medicine), showers, and some quick pep talk, he finally goes to Jaehyun’s grave. Arriving there, he can’t see anyone. Sighing, Sicheng makes his way to Jaehyun’s grave, and sits beside it.

“Jaehyun, where are you now? Are you in heaven already by now? I know you’re upset with me, I’m upset with myself too, but can you at least tell me if you’re going already? I miss you. And I’m so sorry for everything. I should’ve done more to save you.” Sicheng could feel tears streaming down his face. 

“Sicheng?” 

Sicheng looks at the source and sees Jaehyun’s friends are all there.

“Hey, what are you doing here? Why are you crying?” Taeyong makes his way to him and holds Sicheng.

Sicheng lets himself cry more on Taeyong’s embrace. It might be best that he finally tells his friends the truth, so he does. He tells Taeyong, Yuta and Johnny about everything. He tells them about how he could see Jaehyun, and how Jaehyun asks for his help, and of course he tells them about what happened in the shaman’s place yesterday.

“Hey Sicheng. Please don’t blame yourself okay? Of course you could get shaken up seeing all that right in front of you. You’re brave enough to call 911 for him.” Johnny tries to calm him down, stroking his back.

“Yeah, it’s not your fault. It’s just that fucking annoying driver and his dad that are so fucked up. You’re not in the wrong, please don’t blame yourself again. I believe Jaehyun appreciates your efforts already.” Yuta strokes his head, sitting beside him.

“No, he hates me. I can’t find him since yesterday. And I came here to find him, but he’s still nowhere to be found. I just want to say sorry to him. He’s so precious to me, I don’t want to hurt him.” Sicheng was still sobbing.

“Give him time, okay? I believe he’ll come back to you soon.” Taeyong soothes him.

“But what if he’s going to heaven already?” Sicheng sighs. “I feel so bad. I miss him already.”

“That’s a valid feeling. But trust me, Jaehyun wouldn’t leave you just like this. So, cheer up!” Yuta gives him a tissue.

Sicheng just nods, feeling so thankful to have Jaehyun’s friends there with him. He might really have to be patient and let Jaehyun just take his time before seeing him again. So after drinking some coffee with Jaehyun’s friends, he finally went back home.

When he opens the door, he is shocked to see Jaehyun is there, sitting on his sofa. Jaehyun looks at Sicheng and smiles weakly.

“Hey, you’re home?”

Sicheng immediately ran to the sofa and sat besides Jaehyun. He looks at Jaehyun in the eyes, and says, “Jaehyun, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for everything. Please don’t leave me again.”

“I’m the one who’s supposed to say sorry. I’m so sorry I didn’t hear you until the end. I just feel betrayed at that time, you know? I fell in love with you and I’m thinking how could I fall in love with you when you betrayed me that way. I know you have your own reasons for that, I know that you probably think it would be too much, I’m supposed to understand your point too. So I’m so sorry.” Jaehyun starts to explain. “After that, I feel so lost, I decide to just sleep in my bedroom in my parents’ house. I just took my time there to think. I see my parents feeling much better ever since you went there, I realized that you helped me a lot. The next day, I went to that shaman’s place again, and he explains more about you. I don’t realize that this is all torturing you too. I’m so sorry. And I decided to go to my grave, just because I think you probably would be there, but then I saw you and my friends. I hear your conversations, and I feel so bad. So here I am now, in front of you, wanting to say sorry and finally get our closure.”

Sicheng is crying now. Jaehyun’s words seem so final to him, like it’s their last time being together. Sensing Sicheng’s mind, Jaehyun starts to talk again, “And for your request, I’m so sorry that I can’t stay here with you. I have to go…”

Of course that makes Sicheng cry even more. He realizes that he truly loves Jaehyun, and they can’t be together even if they both wanted to. 

“I’m supposed to go once my burdens are all cleared. But I still can’t go, because I have one more thing to do.” Jaehyun smiles at Sicheng. “Good thing I asked about this to Haechan today.”

Jaehyun closed the gaps between them, and he reached out to hold Sicheng’s face. Sicheng truly feels Jaehyun is holding him now.

“How?” Sicheng can’t believe it and slowly cradles Jaehyun’s face in his hand. “Oh my God, you’re real.”

“Haechan said, once I want to finish my last thing to do, my body will come back until I finish this.” Jaehyun chuckles. “Kinda ironic yeah? This is the first and last time I got to hold you.”

Sicheng wastes no time and immediately hugs Jaehyun tightly, burying his face on Jaehyun’s chest, inhaling his scent and strokes his back, “I don’t want to let you go Jaehyun. You can’t leave me alone, please.”

“Sicheng, you know I can’t. But I swear you’re not alone. I’ll always stay in your heart. And you also have your friends, and my friends.” Jaehyun rested his chin on Sicheng’s head, holding him closer, letting himself feel Sicheng’s warmth.

“Sicheng.” Jaehyun calls him. But Sicheng doesn't want to let go of him.

Jaehyun has to slowly tilt his face, so Sicheng looks at him, “Sicheng. I love you. I always will. I’ll wait for you in heaven, until the day we finally meet again. I'm also gonna leave this to fate, but I wish, at least in another life, I could meet you again, so I could keep all my promise to stay with you.” 

Sicheng cries again, “I love you more Jaehyun. I’m so sorry for everything. I truly wish I could meet you in heaven later too, and I’ll pray every single day so we could be together in our next life.”

“Thank you for everything Sicheng. Thank you for letting me feel the love even in my last days here.” Jaehyun whispers.

And for one last time, Jaehyun tilts Sicheng’s head again and now he kisses him. He kisses him slowly, enjoying the fact that he could finally kiss Sicheng, even if this is the first and last time he did so. He pacifies Sicheng’s cry and kisses him passionately, as if he’s scared to make the wrong move and Sicheng would be gone, or he would be gone.

Jaehyun pulls away, “I’ll say this again, I love you Sicheng. Thank you. I finally finished everything that I have to do in this world. I have to go.”

“Jaehyun, please.” Sicheng sobs, holding Jaehyun tightly, but slowly he can’t feel Jaehyun again, it’s the cold air that surrounds him.

“I love you Sicheng, please live a happy life. I’ll see you again later when it’s the time. I’ll be there at the gate to welcome you.” Jaehyun smiles at him, and slowly ascends, leaving Sicheng miserably crying in his living room.

* * *

_ “Jaehyun.” _

_ “Welcome Sicheng. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you again.” _

_ “I miss you.” _

_ “I miss you more sweetheart. How’s your trip here?” _

_ “It’s so-so. I just can’t wait to meet you. And you keep your promise to wait for me at the gate.” _

_ “Of course I keep my promise. When the angels told me you’re coming, I already waited here.” _

_ “Thank you Jaehyun, you’re the sweetest.” _

_ “Just for you baby. Let’s go home now?” _

_ “Together?” _

_ “Yes, together. Hold my hand baby.” _

* * *

It’s Sicheng’s first day at elementary school, it’s so bad that he has to move and now he knows no one. He looks around the gate to see his school properly. He’s still having his doubt to walk into his new school. What if he can’t get a friend? What if he didn’t feel comfortable? And other what ifs that showed up at his mind. He sighs deeply and is about to walk in, when someone pokes at his shoulder.

“Hey, you look pretty nervous! Don’t be, we’re all nice here. I’m Jaehyun by the way?” That boy excitedly greets him.

“I’m Sicheng, nice to meet you.” Sicheng smiles, extending his hand to shake Jaehyun’s hand.

Jaehyun shakes Sicheng’s hand firmly, “Nice to meet you too! Let’s be friends!!”

Sicheng stares at Jaehyun’s eyes, it somehow radiates familiarity. He feels comfortable with him already, so he nods, and lets Jaehyun drag him in.

* * *

“Oh come on Jaehyun, where are we going?” Sicheng sighs. Jaehyun has been covering his eyes, and won’t let him take a little peek on where they’re going.

“It’s a secret!!” Jaehyun smiles, and holds Sicheng’s hand. “You trust me right?”

“Yes Jaehyun, I trust you.” Sicheng says.

Jaehyun helped him step down the car, and held him and guided him in. He lets Sicheng sit, and Jaehyun takes a seat in front of him, “Now you could take the blindfold off.”

So Sicheng does. He’s now at this cafe that really seems familiar. Sicheng looks around and he finally remembers, this is the cafe that Jaehyun and his friends love to hang out in. 

“Okay? What’s the surprise?” Sicheng asks, as he didn’t spot anything weird there.

“You know, it’s been 10 years since we both met each other right?” 

Sicheng only nods, and Jaehyun continues, “And you also know that it’s been 3 years since we both figured out about our last life right?”

“Hmm.” Sicheng nods again. It’s indeed been 3 years since Sicheng finally realized the reason why Jaehyun’s eyes seem so familiar to him. Their memories slowly came back and they finally remembered what happened in their next life. God heard them and indeed let them meet each other in a much better way in this lifetime.

“I just want you to hear me out. It’s been awhile since we know each other, and it’s also been awhile since we’re tiptoe around our feelings. But tonight, I just want to be honest to you. I’ve waited for this since our last life, I just want to keep my promise to stay beside you, forever. So Sicheng, would you give me an honour to be your husband? I want you to be the only person that I love for the rest of my life, and I’ll give you the best of me until the day that I die. Would you marry me baby?” Jaehyun suddenly kneels in front of Sicheng, pulling out a tiny box from his pocket. And in that box, there’s a beautiful ring.

“I’d love to.” Sicheng didn’t even think too much and he launched himself to hug Jaehyun. “I won’t let you go again now.”

“Thank you.” Jaehyun grins. “I love you so much.”

“And I love you so much too.” Sicheng plants a kiss on Jaehyun’s lips.

They ended the night happily. And from that moment forward, they are gonna live their happy life together, just like what Sicheng has been praying every day in his last life.

**Author's Note:**

> you reach the end!! hopefully you enjoy it! i guess this is more fast-paced? im sorry for that djhsgfhsdj
> 
> i'll really appreciate it if you could spare me any kudos or comments uwu, and i hope i'll see you later on my next fics♡ 
> 
> hit me on [twt](https://twitter.com/jaewinbfs) or [cc](https://curiouscat.me/monbaebae) and lets be friends!


End file.
